On Attachment

This is a post where I sort out my own thoughts. It isn't any kind of systematic or logical inquiry, so feel free to read it casually.

My 12-year-old son is crying because he deleted the Minecraft world he spent 5 years building. How do I explain to him that it's just a game?

This question posted on Quora is quite heartbreaking, enough that it comes back to me every now and then.

When I think back to my own childhood, there were a lot of things I was attached to. A house, places, people, friends, animals, books, dolls — I got attached to just about anything. And of those, few were things I got to keep to the end. The capture says 'just a game', but in fact, among the things I was deeply attached to that got thrown away, games make up a very small share.

Probably everything I had back then was thought of as 'just an xx'. That's why all of it got thrown away. I was a kid, and in time it would all be forgotten. But unfortunately my memory is pretty good. Ever since I badly injured my head about 35 years ago, I remember almost all of my attachments. The things that were thrown away, the things I had no choice but to throw away, and so on...

There was probably no malice when they were thrown away. There was probably no malice from anyone, but I think being thrown away so carelessly like that is bound to have a bad effect. Because when I study myself, reflect, and look back now, the thought comes to me: I had no attachments, so even as an adult I have trouble forming proper attachment relationships.

It's right to let go of attachments someday. Because you can't have anything forever, or at least wholly for your whole life. Even my own life isn't wholly mine. There are moments I'm not conscious (like as a newborn), or times when I have no freedom. What about family? Someday family leaves. Sometimes they leave for good. So attachments, too, have to be let go to some extent. A moment comes when you have to realize you can't see them, can't touch them. When you let go, you will truly realize how precious it was.

So having attachment is itself a tragedy. Even so, we can't help having it and can't help letting it go. I wonder whether this is the root of the suffering in human life (the 'suffering' and 'origin of suffering' of the Four Noble Truths).